alternately, jeopardy clues for which the answer is "what's hap'n, cap'n?"
sprung a leak
and i feel like i should apologize
in an unaddressed letter
on indestructible paper
with script you almost recognize
maybe you do
maybe you don’t
if it rains it rains
feel like i should apologize
+
it circulates through the public
in the air in the water
apology epidemic
vaccines are always a little bit futile
i think i saw a stranger smiling
i think i forgot your name
feel like i should _____
and i didn’t know what to say
______________________
fill in the blank is always less successful than multiple choice
but the most right answer is never the perfect answer
is it
if you read what i wrote at any point in my lifetime and thought it was someone else
thank you
thank
you
when someone is mad at me i understand that
if i’m mad at everyone
everyone understands that
what if i just say thank you to everyone i pass on the street
will i then thank the cops then the guards then the doctors
then the nurses
what if i take a white piece of paper
all rectangular and blank
and post it after writing
THANK
YOU
maybe no one will see me then
or the third or the fifth time
a thought
feel like i should apologize
has anyone actually decapitated a chicken
‘cause i feel like i’m walking normally
i take steps like clockwork
like dancing
like one forward, two back
one two three one two three
did you find that letter in the street
i heard it was good
it’s still making the rounds?
feel like i should apologize
like that’s how this works
there’s got to be a way this works
this worked
i swear it worked
some people find comfort in mathematical variability
sometimes
if a statistic is 100% verifiable
that almost makes it possibly 100% true
if you are an amateur mathematician you exactly might know what I mean
[the title of the thing]
if it was ever that easy, it wouldn’t be personal
someone told me
“don’t take it personally”
i’m a person
what do you want me to take it like
i’m not too good at interspecies acting yet
but i’m working on it
actually seriously i’m working on it
there’s something
good
in working on it
and if i’m wrong again i want you to prove me
who knows how long
it
will
take
but who needs to know more than you
like sleeping
the rest of us come around at different rates
i know you need a minute
i need a minute
but there’s only so many minutes you can take
i just coughed just now
i catch my breath whole
maybe
it won’t be disappointing
to expect the same
seriously, beware ye all who enter here
POETRY WARNING
So, there’s a man crawling through the desert.
He’d decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn’t get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near,…
i turned off all of my alarms and i slept until my body didn’t need to anymore and when i woke up i remarked to myself how good and novel it had felt and then or now it occurred to me that until the past eighty years or so this was how everyone had slept all the time
There’s something quite telling in the way Chief Brown refers to these three adults in The Case of the Slipper Salamander.
Dr. O’Donnell is an expert on reptiles and amphibians. He has a doctorate in herpetology, so he uses a title when he refers to him. He’s Dr. O’Donnell.
Mrs. King volunteers her time to the community. She’s well-off enough that she’s able to donate her time. He uses a title when he refers to her. She’s Mrs. King.
Sam Maine cleans animal exhibits for a living. That’s what he does professionally. Chief Brown apparently believes that he doesn’t deserve as much respect as the others, and so he refers to him by first name. He’s not Mr. Maine. He’s Sam Maine.
When you think about it, it’s kind of a messed up lesson for a father to teach his son. And it’s a messed up lesson to be put in a book for children published in 2000.
push
stop
pull
run.
.happy.
click the read more link for excellent uncapitalized writing and animated pinkie pies jumping around
